Best friends

Ever since Erin entered our lives, and turned Shadow's world upside-down, I have been promising my beloved dog that one day he would love Erin and they would become best friends. I'm not sure if he understands me or not, but even if he does, I highly doubt he believes me. After all, how could this loud beast that disturbs his sleep, eats way more than he does, gets all the attention that he used to, and constantly tries to pull his tail, ever be his best friend?

Well, I think Shadow is finally starting to see the possibility, and I have the photo to prove it. He may not be there yet, but he's definitely coming around to the idea - or, if not, at least around to her highchair a lot during meals!

Erin’s First Annual St. Patrick’s Day Party

When you’re as Irish as Erin is, people just expect you to throw a good St. Patrick’s Day party.  So we knew we had to set a high standard, but we also didn’t want to overwhelm ourselves or our precious little leprechaun. 

After we decided to compromise on a small gathering of friends and family, we sent out invites, expecting maybe a dozen adults and well under a half-dozen kids.  But when the dust settled and the last guests left, the final tally was twenty-one adults and eight kids.  Wow, our daughter’s even more popular than we thought!

Micheal and Shawnee brought a very tasty Guinness and lamb stew, and some homemade soda bread.  Michael and Brooks brought a tasty cookie cake with tongue-dying green icing.  Nef brought the fixin’s for Guinness milkshakes (which sadly went untried, although the ice cream is quite tasty on its own).  And although the bulk of the thanks go to Whole Foods Market and our crock pot, I cooked up an excellent corned beef.  (I used a nitrate-free/organic corned beef; it’s so tasty that I frankly don’t care if it’s healthier or not.) 

Oh, and apparently everyone (kids included) brought beer, because we somehow ended the party with more than when it started. 

The crowd was a great mix of friends, neighbors, co-workers, and family (some of whom fall in more than one category), and everyone got along just dandy.  Unlike some of the more infamous St. Paddy’s blowouts in my not-so-recent past, there were no injuries or property damage, nobody got sick, and we all woke up the next morning feeling just fine.  (Well, speaking for myself, Christine, and Erin; I don’t know what the rest of the crowd did after leaving our place!)

Although we did somehow end up with this picture on the camera:

…And I was wondering what happened to that glass of Guinness! 

An excellent time was had by all, and although we were joking around by calling it “Erin’s First Annual St. Patrick’s Day Party…” we’re definitely going to continue the tradition.

(A special thanks go out to Dave L., who was in town to attend South by Southwest, and took time out to attend Erin’s party.) 

 

Thankful

I recently found out that one of my former PT school classmates and all three of her little girls have a genetic mitochondrial disease. Her youngest child has been experiencing very serious medical problems, which are life threatening. My classmate and her other two daughters' conditions are fine for now, but they are all undergoing testing to see exactly what type and severity they have. Her oldest daughter is autistic and they believe that may be part of how the disease is manifesting itself.

This news has really thrown me for a loop, and I am constantly checking the family's blog to see how everyone is doing, what tests they've had to endure, and just overall if they have any answers.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be the mother of three children, all of whom could be dying. But even worse, is knowing that it's because of some horrible disease you didn't even know you had.

I have only had Erin to love for a relatively short time, but I can't imagine what it would be like to know that she was dying. Sure, we complain about the monotony of taking Erin to weekly physical therapy for months but, compared to what this family is going through, it's really nothing.

So, I just want to say right here, right now, in this moment, for everything I take for granted - I am thankful. We are very fortunate. I am so thankful for my beautiful baby girl, for her health, for my own health, for my wonderful husband who stands by us, for the love of my family and friends, for Erin's amazing health care team, and for all of the blessings that God sees fit to bestow upon us every day.

Thank you.

The List

Before Erin was born, Kurt and I were talking about what it takes to be a good parent, and how we definitely wanted to do everything we could to be good parents for our child. We talked to lots of parents and solicited advice on what they thought was either a trait of a good parent or some advice they wished they had received before becoming parents themselves.

As a result of those conversations, Kurt and I decided that we needed to have a list, in writing, to look back at every year to see if we were still on track. The list was not something that was to be set in stone, but rather a blueprint that would change and grow with us and our child. Obviously, since we were novices at the whole parenting thing, we might be rather naive and idealistic (which our original list would reflect), and as we woke up to the realities of parenthood, the list would require a revision.

Well, the list actually ended up evolving into the need for two lists. One list of the things we wanted to do to insure that we were good parents. The other, a list of things we wanted Erin (our as of then unknown, unborn child) to accomplish by the time she was 18 years old and embarking out into the world on her own.

Well, needless to say, as young,idealists, we put off making the list thinking we would have plenty of time to put it in writing before our child arrived, but Erin came early, and life has been a whirlwind since. So, the list has been talked about and rambling around in our heads, but it's never made it out on paper or any other form that would hold us to some accountability. So, nine months late, here is my version of "the list". They are not numbered, as they are in no particular order.


The list of things Christine thinks she needs to do to be a good parent:
*Don't take myself too seriously as a parent - remember to laugh
*Don't take Erin too seriously either - allow her to be a child
*Remember that the end goal is to raise an adult, not a 30 year old child
*Let my child know that I love her, even when I don't love what she does
*Do not compare my child to other children or compete with other parents
*Do not put a label on my child, allow her to be who and what she is
*Allow Erin to make choices - but also teach her about boundaries
*Do NOT try to be Erin's best friend at the expense of being her mother
*Teach Erin the importance of charity, compassion, and hard work
*Tell my daughter every day how much I love her and am proud of her - not because of what she accomplishes or how she looks, but just for being her - so that she has self-esteem that is not tied in to anything else
*Let my daughter know that it is okay to fail, but praise her accomplishments
*Make sure she understands the importance of good nutrition, good hygiene, and good morals
*Teach her about God and take her to church
*Teach her that she is accountable for her own actions
*Try not to react out of anger - give myself a time out when needed
*Spank Erin when she truly needs it - which is when she is putting herself or someone else in immediate danger and not listening
*Love her and her father every day
*Keep the lines of communication open
*Always make sure to have dinner together as a family - and not in front of the TV
*Be a "mean mom", who checks up on her kid and where she is, who she's with, etc. like my mom was

The list of things Christine hopes Erin accomplishes before she turns 18:
*Reaches all the age appropriate developmental milestones
*Is toilet trained and able to wipe herself (without yelling to let me know)
*Knows her own name, and how to spell it
*Able to tie her shoelaces - without using the 2 bunny ears method
*No longer sucks her thumb
*Is able to eat, with the correct silverware, set the table, and cook a basic meal
*Can do basic chores such as laundry and cleaning her own room
*Understands the word "no"
*Is part of a team sport and an individual sport - so she learns the value of both
*Is in an honor society and a service organization - to acknowledge both achievements
*Knows not only how to win gracefully, but also how to lose gracefully
*Plays a musical instrument for at least one year
*Is able to swim
*Can do basic car maintenance
*Graduates all levels of school - on the first try
*Takes dance lessons (so maybe she won't get her mom's gracefulness)
*Knows how to balance a check book, not bounce one
*Saves the money from a job to use toward a car and college - so that she develops a work ethic, knows the value of a dollar, and learns that the best things in life are earned
*Learns empathy, compassion, and charity firsthand
*Knows right from wrong, and develops a strong moral conscience
*Goes to church on a regular basis
*Knows the true meaning of friendship and has the kind that will last a lifetime
*Learns not to take herself too seriously
*Is not afraid to try, even if she makes mistakes, and is not afraid to fail
*Knows how to set up camp and pitch a tent
*Can kill her own bugs
*Is not afraid of heights, roller coasters, or lizards
*Can drive a stick shift
*For Daddy, can shoot a gun - but Mommy is not too fond of this one
*Knows when to fight, and when to walk away
*Knows how to say "I'm sorry" and "I messed up"
*Knows how to forgive - both herself and others
*Has gone to school dances
*Has kissed a boy - BUT THAT'S IT!
*Knows how much she is loved

And She's Off!!!

As you probably know, Christine and I have been taking Erin to physical therapy for her torticollis. Erin's therapist, Elva, mentioned that being on her belly would help to strengthen her neck, and since then we've been watching our little princess squirm around, trying to crawl.

Then one day Elva put Erin on her belly, and helped coordinate her legs as she tried to crawl. Erin screamed bloody murder the entire time, and was jerky and unsteady, but she crawled.

And our entire life changed.

We can no longer do many of the things we used to, such as put Erin on the bed while we change clothes, or set her on the sofa while we grab the phone. We've also been busy baby-proofing the house. All of the tall furniture is now strapped to the walls. All of the electrical sockets have plugs in them. The kitchen cabinets now have baby locks, much to the frustration of the adults in the house. Even the refrigerator has a lock on it.

Erin is now very impressed with her new trick, and takes every opportunity to show it off. She even crawls in her sleep some nights, bumping her head on the crib. The first few days, Erin's knees were rubbed raw from the carpet, but we started putting pants on her, regardless of the weather.

She's getting more mobile by the day, and apparently her success at mobility is spurring her on to greater achievements: This weekend, she pulled herself upright in her play pen, and proudly stood there for a few seconds before 'barn dooring' back down to the mat. She has an elephant toy attached to the handle of her baby carrier that giggles and vibrates when you tug on it (no jokes, please); today in the car, for the very first time, she pulled it hard enough to set it off.

Just when we get used to some stability in our life, Erin surprises us again with a new development. Given that she's almost standing, and starting to get a sense of what she wants, we're probably in for some turbulence in the future.