Good night sweet pea

As many parents know, getting your child to sleep through the night can be a challenge.  We’ve been pretty lucky in that, other than issues related to teething and reflux, Erin has pretty much slept through the night since she was just a few weeks old.

However, what I didn’t realize until Erin was months past this apparently magical cut-off of six months is that, according to all the sleep gurus, she was supposed to learn how to put herself to sleep without needing a bottle, to be held, or to be rocked. 

Well,  since I’m normally the one who puts Erin to bed, you can imagine my surprise and concern when I found this out at about 11 months.  Nobody had told me that before, and it sure as heck wasn’t in the manual.  (Come to think of it, I’m not even sure I got the manual.)  I mean, after all, what’s more natural than holding your baby until she slowly drifts off to sleep? 

However, apparently I was doing her some kind of disservice by not allowing her to figure out how to soothe herself and  fall asleep.  Even worse, by letting her have milk before bed, I was setting her up for more cavities.   However, at her one year visit Erin’s pediatrician assured us it was fine for Erin to use a bottle until she was 18 months. 

So, over the course of the next month, Erin and I gradually figured it out together along with the transition from bottle to cup.  It actually went quite smoothly. 

Erin had no problem switching from formula to milk and loved the taste right away, but wasn’t so sure about the whole cup thing.  It took her a few weeks to master sippy cups, and she definitely has her favorites, but now she’s a pro.  However, at night, she still refused her cup and cried for her bottle.  So, we took Dr. Grier’s advice and would brush her teeth after dinner, and then give her a bottle of water right before bed.  Although it was supposed to help wean her, it didn’t seem to work that well.  Erin loved the water and would often drink 9-12 ounces right before bed! 

However,  at the beginning of the week, I decided to give Erin milk and a snack  before bed, then brush her teeth, and then offer her water.  The first night, she seemed much less interested in the bottle of water.  So, the next night, I decided to try the sippy cup.  She literally read her book, took a few sips of water, pushed the cup away, and tried to lie down across me.  So, I put her in her crib and she was asleep within minutes.  I’ve repeated this same process for the entire week and it works.  Today, I packed up all of Erin’s bottles. 

While I am glad that Erin is able to put herself to sleep without her bottle, there are a few drawbacks.  First of all, I don’t get to hold her and rock her as long as I used to, which is a little tough.  More concerning however is that in order to self-soothe, Erin has started sucking her fingers.  While I hope this is only temporary since Erin is currently cutting three or four teeth, it is in her genetics to be a thumb-sucker. 

Bubba bear, clutter, and our life

For Christmas, Kurt's mother bought Erin a teddy bear. We aren't just talking any cute little teddy bear either. Nope, we're talking a HUGE bear so big that GG strapped it in the passenger seat of the SUV and drove it around town! Needless to say, when GG arrived at our home for the holidays, Kurt could tell that I was less than thrilled to see this giant monstrosity being lugged up our stairs. While Kurt reminded me that I was the one who chose a bear theme for Erin's room, GG was kind enough to reassure me that this would be the only "large" purchase she would make for Erin. She said that she bought the bear for Erin to enjoy crawling on when she got older. At the time, it seemed so far away and unlikely. However, in GG's defense, she was right. When Erin can't find Mt. Daddy or Mt. Mommy to climb over, Bubba Bear makes a fitting substitute. He is also a wonderful wrestling partner and apparently also makes a great Kleenex!

So, why was I resistant to such a large stuffed animal being in our home when I love all things teddy bear? Well, as a self-proclaimed "neat freak" whose favorite hobby is apparently throwing things out, Bubba was a symbol. His mere presence and size were a threat to the order I liked to believe our lives still had. He served as a herald of the materialism that I did not want our child to get caught up in, and as a warning of all the clutter and chaos that could potentially overtake our home and lives.

However, what I failed to realize at the time was that I AM a mother. Regardless of what toys Erin does or does not have, she is happy to leave a trail of them behind her. Yes, there are times when we deal with the aftermath of Hurricane Erin. Regardless of how often we try to clean, she will still find the last thing that Shadow brought in or find something to throw on the floor. Regardless of how often I try to stick to the plan for the day, Erin doesn't even realize there is a plan. As much as I might want to pay attention to detail, there's a cute little girl who would much rather that I pay attention to her, and I am more than happy to oblige.

So, this is our life. For better or worse, clutter and chaos are just part of where we are and being parents. I don't have to embrace the mess, but I embrace being the Mommy of the one who helps create it. Sure, there will be plenty of "hurricanes" in our house, but hopefully, the joyful moments and happy memories will far out-weigh even the biggest of Bubba Bears.

Be blessed,

Christine

P.S. I wouldn't trade Bubba bear and all the happiness he gives Erin for anything in the world. (But I still hope GG's promise is one I never have to remind her of!)

Mother's Day

Because May 10th was my first Mother’s Day, I thought I should write some form of post to commemorate the day. Sure, I could write about the events of the day, the highlights, the disappointments, or even the thoughtful gifts. Perhaps I could let everyone know Erin gave me chocolate covered strawberries to make up for the ones I couldn’t have when I was pregnant. In many ways, May 10th was a day not unlike so many of the ones in the eleven months preceding it.

However, none of that is what really mattered. On my first Mother’s Day, I just wanted to know that it mattered to someone that I am Erin’s mother. However, in the end I didn’t need a special present to tell me that or even someone else. All I really had to do was look into my little girl’s sweet face and listen to my heart to know.

You see, no other title that I hold will ever be as important, amazing, or life-changing as this one. I helped to create an amazing little human being. I continue to love, nurture, and care for her every day. There is no other job in this world that will ever be as difficult or as rewarding. Regardless of whether it matters to anyone else, it matters to Erin and it matters to me. I AM Erin’s mommy, and I am SO lucky.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommies out there – every day.

Love,

Christine

Dress Up

When Kurt and I talked about having children, and even after Erin was born, I prided myself in knowing that I was going to treat my child as a person, not as a doll or an accessory. So many parents I know buy matching parent and child outfits or really fancy clothes so their children look more like mini adults. I just KNEW that would not be me.

Sure, I like Erin to look cute - what mother wouldn't want that for her daughter? However, I'm rather practical. I believe in buying clothes that are cute, but comfortable and functional. Sure, for special occasions we'll go with the fancy stuff and if someone buys her an adorable outfit, we'll definitely put her in it and be very appreciative. But, no, I don't buy matching mommy/daughter outfits or clothes that make her look like an adult. We're trying not to raise another Jon Benet Ramsey.

So, it came as a shock to me when I was looking at my daughter's photos that I am just like those "other" moms. The only difference is that Kurt and I play "dress up" with Erin by making her wear (or not wear) really embarrassing clothes. All you have to do is look through her websites to see what I mean.

Sure there are minor things like socks that look like shoes, shamrock bibs, hooded bear towels, mouse hats, jester hats, bike helmets, and funny hooded jackets. Sure she's had chips and salsa on her lap, and even the traditional naked bath tub, or bear skin rug photos. And yes, we did get a bit into the holidays with her sweat pea Halloween costume and her snowman outfit for Christmas. However, all of that was pretty understandable.

I think it may have started to go a little awry with the photo of Erin in her oxygen mask that I refer to as "Luke I am Your Father". However, it really didn't dawn on me until I saw the picture of Erin wearing my lunch bag on her head like a robot, and then realized that earlier today her Daddy put a box on her head to show me how Erin could look like Frankenstein.

So, I confess, I didn't have a child so I could play "dress up" with her, but I guess that is just one of those parenting skills you develop over time. For some reason, I get the feeling the fun has just started. Be on the look out for more embarrassing photos. Sorry Erin!

True Daddy

Kurt said he wouldn't really feel like a Dad until Erin was old enough to ride on his shoulders. Well, here's proof that he's a real Daddy now. :-)

Thankful

I recently found out that one of my former PT school classmates and all three of her little girls have a genetic mitochondrial disease. Her youngest child has been experiencing very serious medical problems, which are life threatening. My classmate and her other two daughters' conditions are fine for now, but they are all undergoing testing to see exactly what type and severity they have. Her oldest daughter is autistic and they believe that may be part of how the disease is manifesting itself.

This news has really thrown me for a loop, and I am constantly checking the family's blog to see how everyone is doing, what tests they've had to endure, and just overall if they have any answers.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be the mother of three children, all of whom could be dying. But even worse, is knowing that it's because of some horrible disease you didn't even know you had.

I have only had Erin to love for a relatively short time, but I can't imagine what it would be like to know that she was dying. Sure, we complain about the monotony of taking Erin to weekly physical therapy for months but, compared to what this family is going through, it's really nothing.

So, I just want to say right here, right now, in this moment, for everything I take for granted - I am thankful. We are very fortunate. I am so thankful for my beautiful baby girl, for her health, for my own health, for my wonderful husband who stands by us, for the love of my family and friends, for Erin's amazing health care team, and for all of the blessings that God sees fit to bestow upon us every day.

Thank you.

The List

Before Erin was born, Kurt and I were talking about what it takes to be a good parent, and how we definitely wanted to do everything we could to be good parents for our child. We talked to lots of parents and solicited advice on what they thought was either a trait of a good parent or some advice they wished they had received before becoming parents themselves.

As a result of those conversations, Kurt and I decided that we needed to have a list, in writing, to look back at every year to see if we were still on track. The list was not something that was to be set in stone, but rather a blueprint that would change and grow with us and our child. Obviously, since we were novices at the whole parenting thing, we might be rather naive and idealistic (which our original list would reflect), and as we woke up to the realities of parenthood, the list would require a revision.

Well, the list actually ended up evolving into the need for two lists. One list of the things we wanted to do to insure that we were good parents. The other, a list of things we wanted Erin (our as of then unknown, unborn child) to accomplish by the time she was 18 years old and embarking out into the world on her own.

Well, needless to say, as young,idealists, we put off making the list thinking we would have plenty of time to put it in writing before our child arrived, but Erin came early, and life has been a whirlwind since. So, the list has been talked about and rambling around in our heads, but it's never made it out on paper or any other form that would hold us to some accountability. So, nine months late, here is my version of "the list". They are not numbered, as they are in no particular order.


The list of things Christine thinks she needs to do to be a good parent:
*Don't take myself too seriously as a parent - remember to laugh
*Don't take Erin too seriously either - allow her to be a child
*Remember that the end goal is to raise an adult, not a 30 year old child
*Let my child know that I love her, even when I don't love what she does
*Do not compare my child to other children or compete with other parents
*Do not put a label on my child, allow her to be who and what she is
*Allow Erin to make choices - but also teach her about boundaries
*Do NOT try to be Erin's best friend at the expense of being her mother
*Teach Erin the importance of charity, compassion, and hard work
*Tell my daughter every day how much I love her and am proud of her - not because of what she accomplishes or how she looks, but just for being her - so that she has self-esteem that is not tied in to anything else
*Let my daughter know that it is okay to fail, but praise her accomplishments
*Make sure she understands the importance of good nutrition, good hygiene, and good morals
*Teach her about God and take her to church
*Teach her that she is accountable for her own actions
*Try not to react out of anger - give myself a time out when needed
*Spank Erin when she truly needs it - which is when she is putting herself or someone else in immediate danger and not listening
*Love her and her father every day
*Keep the lines of communication open
*Always make sure to have dinner together as a family - and not in front of the TV
*Be a "mean mom", who checks up on her kid and where she is, who she's with, etc. like my mom was

The list of things Christine hopes Erin accomplishes before she turns 18:
*Reaches all the age appropriate developmental milestones
*Is toilet trained and able to wipe herself (without yelling to let me know)
*Knows her own name, and how to spell it
*Able to tie her shoelaces - without using the 2 bunny ears method
*No longer sucks her thumb
*Is able to eat, with the correct silverware, set the table, and cook a basic meal
*Can do basic chores such as laundry and cleaning her own room
*Understands the word "no"
*Is part of a team sport and an individual sport - so she learns the value of both
*Is in an honor society and a service organization - to acknowledge both achievements
*Knows not only how to win gracefully, but also how to lose gracefully
*Plays a musical instrument for at least one year
*Is able to swim
*Can do basic car maintenance
*Graduates all levels of school - on the first try
*Takes dance lessons (so maybe she won't get her mom's gracefulness)
*Knows how to balance a check book, not bounce one
*Saves the money from a job to use toward a car and college - so that she develops a work ethic, knows the value of a dollar, and learns that the best things in life are earned
*Learns empathy, compassion, and charity firsthand
*Knows right from wrong, and develops a strong moral conscience
*Goes to church on a regular basis
*Knows the true meaning of friendship and has the kind that will last a lifetime
*Learns not to take herself too seriously
*Is not afraid to try, even if she makes mistakes, and is not afraid to fail
*Knows how to set up camp and pitch a tent
*Can kill her own bugs
*Is not afraid of heights, roller coasters, or lizards
*Can drive a stick shift
*For Daddy, can shoot a gun - but Mommy is not too fond of this one
*Knows when to fight, and when to walk away
*Knows how to say "I'm sorry" and "I messed up"
*Knows how to forgive - both herself and others
*Has gone to school dances
*Has kissed a boy - BUT THAT'S IT!
*Knows how much she is loved